The River Children (A Poem)

It went along the mossy creases

And bent along the cresting hills.

Tears puddled in the stagnant shallows

And cried out spinning down the falls.

Accepted boughs from fallen grace

And cast them back upon the shore.

They fought and argued

A bitter embrace.

And were washed to the ocean once more.


Please leave a review of this poem on Fictionpress!

I wrote this poem while taking a walk along a small river that has hiking trails leading from the falls.  For some reason I thought the water looked really beautiful and wanted to capture the way it moved, and then it turned into something else that I don’t really know what is happening.

Let me know what you think!!!!!

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The Tree // Having Other People Edit Your Work?

The Tree

(TW: Suicide)

There was a tree

And so it stood

Upon the hill that summer.

 

There was a girl

Who was never far

Away from it, or him.

 

There was a boy

Who feared to think

Of losing her come fall.

 

But still the tree

Stripped of its leaves

Changed as it must in autumn.

 

And so the girl

As he knew she would

Went away for winter.

 

Then went the boy

So lost, alone

To the tree, remember.

 

There was a tree

Bare but for one

A soul who never left it.

 

And there was a girl

Who wanted none

But to be joined as lovers.

 

Yet there was a boy

Who never knew

As he hung from the tree in spring.

 

The tree was downed

And so was lost

As things must go in these times.

 

The girl went silent

And she was lost too

As things do go in these times.

 

The boy went to nothing

And an overwhelming lack

Is as things go this time.

 

The nothing, the nothing

And still that joins the three

Is as things go this time.

 

(To leave a review for this poem, check it out on FictionPress)


So I wrote that poem a few months ago, and then decided to ask other, smarter, more poetry oriented people to beta read it for me over on Fictionpress.  At the time, I thought that this would be a good idea, but now I’m not so sure.  I want to tell you all why.

I originally had a series of words and phrases different, and I liked them much better than they are now.  But, I didn’t save my original and then I made edits, switching stuff around like other people wanted, and now I don’t remember how to switch it back to the way I like it.  And that kind of sucks.

I feel like poetry is a very very personal matter, and it’s difficult when you let other people jump in and try to make changes for you.  I’m a huge fan of beta reading for stories, but I don’t think you can truly get in touch with someone’s emotions enough to beta their poem.

When I asked one girl to beta, she ended up trying to change the entire meaning of my poem because she didn’t get it, which TOTALLY sucked.  When she was done it was this happy go lucky poem and it didn’t make any sense the way I wanted it to.  I know that most people aren’t like that, and you just have to find the right reader, but I think that all too often people can have different poetic interpretations and change it to make it make less sense to you personally.  If that makes sense.

Obviously, you could just SAVE A COPY OF YOUR ORIGINAL LIKE A SMART PERSON. and that would save a lot of problems.  So maybe it’s just me, but I want to know your perspective!!

Do you think it’s possible to successfully beta read poetry?

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Introduction to Me, Joce

Hi everyone!! I’m here to announce that I’m the newest member to The Writing Writers Squad.  I could not be more excited to be a part of this, because everyone who has posted so far has amazing content, and plus I’ll be working with some of my favorite people in the blogosphere.

For my first post, I wanted to briefly introduce myself and let you know what to expect from me as a writer.

I mainly publish poems, because when I’m feeling emotional (happy, sad, angry, or anything in between) I feel the need to write to clear my head and think logically again, and I find that poems are typically the best outlet for this.  Even though I write poetry in the throws of my emotional fits, most of the time they don’t actually relate to my life.  I think that’s why I like writing so much: I can write about other people and it takes my mind off of MY real life.

Besides poems, I’m currently trying to write my very first novel, called The Chemical Capitalists.  I’m about 13 chapters in right now, or roughly 30 pages (the first chapters are short) which means I’m a long way from finishing.  I’m a slow writer, but I plan to share bits and pieces with you lot as we go.  I’ve actually been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, so I plan to tell you guys about how that went when we finish.

I love writing instructional posts, because it satisfies my bossy personality, so I plan on writing a lot of how-to write posts, which hopefully some of you will find interesting.  Obviously, I’ll be posting my own writing here as well because I love writing and sharing.

In anything I write, I NEED feedback, so please don’t be afraid to give constructive criticism or compliments.  I also book blog on Write Through the Night, help run the collaborative political/lifestyle blog Our Voices Matter, and post my writing on FictionPress.

That’s all for now, and I’ll be back with a first look at a poem next week!joce-sign-off